Alliance: Month 3 — I have a daughter!

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Wow, what a ride!! We are now 95 days into this alliance and I have already learned so much. I’m being stretched and challenged constantly. I’m also enjoying family life immensely!

One of my favorite revelations of the past couple months is the great difference between the statements “I am a father, ” and “I have a daughter!”

The first statement is about an offer of relationship on my part. My children may or may not accept that offer. I’m offering protection and provision and care and emotional support and presence, and commitment and on and on… That’s my offer and it’s wrapped in the statement “I am a father.”

The second statement is about how that offer is received and reciprocated. Will you simply take the provision and protection, or will you also return honor and affection, and submission to my authority?

When I last opened a window into this part of my life, both of the younger members of our team were adamantly refusing to be my children. They wanted a dad, but had no idea what that looks like and how it changes their lives. So any assertion of authority on my part was met with staunch defiance. The proverbial shaking of the fist and the cry “I am not yours.”

I’ve learned so much about the way I have related to my earthly and heavenly fathers. How deliberate am I about sonship? I have the best possible father who is in heaven, and He has blessed with an amazing father here on earth. So statement one is covered, but how am I doing at being a son to them? How am I doing at seeking their interests, their vision, submitting to their authority which seeks only my highest good? Am I operating as son or orphan? Do I want only the blessings but not the responsibilities of relationship?

The question applies across the board to all types of relationship. Do I simply have a great wife, or am I a great husband (pronounced: servant) to my great wife? Am I a son to my father in heaven? Am I a son to my father on earth? Would my actions indicate an identity of stranger, slave, servant or son? Am I honoring and affectionate or sullen and stand-offish?

Are you a son?

Are you a daughter?

On earth as it is in heaven?

Would God say of you “this is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased,” or is He only able to say of you “I am his/her father.”

Nothing pleases the heart of a father like watching his children walk in their identity as sons and daughters.

Great News, Y’all!!! I have a daughter!!! She was my daughter anyway because her identity is true regardless of her response. She was no less my daughter before she owned it. But now she knows it and that means she can receive so much more of the abundance encoded within that identity. Be at peace in this, friend, that you are a child of the King whether or not you have walked in that identity, but there is such favor and fullness when you put that identity on and wear it like a treasured robe!

She waits for me when I get home in the evening, she comes out to the car and takes my laptop, my camera bag, the food bag, she literally insists that I carry nothing. She won’t even let me open the door! Then she orders me to wait at the table while she dishes up the scrumptious meal my wife has created, and my daughter serves me dinner.

She asks me daily “Are you busy?” which is code for “Can you hang out with me?” If you know me, you know I’m busy. But I’m never so busy I can’t make time to hang with this beautiful creature/creator. She makes these great little movies on an app called Musical.ly and she delights in showing them to me.

We had a momentary disconnect last week. She yelled hurtful things at me. I put on a brave face, but as soon as she stormed out, I retreated to the office, curled up on the floor and cried. Not long after, she came to the door and knocked. I uttered a weak, “come in.”

She stood near my desk and said “I’m sorry.” I stuck up my hand and said “I love you.” She grabbed my hand and said “I love you too.”

Thank you Jesus! I have a daughter!

Life with Family: It ain’t easier; it’s just sweeter!

 

 

One thought on “Alliance: Month 3 — I have a daughter!”

  1. Beautiful. I love your thoughts on identity. I’m going to pass this on to a couple friends who are wrestling with some aspects of their identity in Christ.

    And I love the glimpse of this sweet new chapter in your lives together. So happy for Dar and you.

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