I rest on Mondays.
Saturdays and Sundays are work days for me at church. Lots of people. Lots of listening to people, creating space for people, contributing energy and vision to people. Monday is the day I unplug and honor the introvert within.
Yesterday there was a solar eclipse, visible in totality from my small town in Oregon. People came from all over the country, most of them descending on Salem, the state’s capital, conveniently 45 minutes from us. There were an estimated 1 million additional travelers to the state for the purpose of viewing this celestial event.
Last thing I want to do on a Monday is see more people and be around a crowd, or even a group.
So Darlene, AKA Queen D, tells me that she wants to watch the eclipse with her friends and their family and she’d like us to go there as a family and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to make memories together as a tribe, and all I’m thinking is, Blessed Aloneness, where Art Thou?
Over the decade of forming this Alliance, we’ve gotten a pretty good sense for recognizing when something is truly important to the other person, and I sensed that definitely was the case, so I decided to go along with the family and watch this solar eclipse, blah blah, ho-hum…
Turns out I had a blast! We all did! From the first time we looked through our special eclipse glasses and saw that the moon had taken a bite out of the sun, and Sage said, “it looks like the Apple logo,” we were knit together into a shared experience that I suspect we will treasure for years. Is it possible that trust is built of memories such as these? My video was not of the magnificent display in the heavens, but on earth, the shared energy of a group that had gathered to be amazed together.
While we were all yelling and ooh-ing and aah-ing as the sun went out, I remembered this Ted Talk that I watched several years ago about how shared experience binds us together. Now me and those 20 people from yesterday have a shared memory of the eclipse that qualifies us to say, “hey remember that time?”
Relationship is made of many things. I believe an important ingredient is the memory of that one time, and that other time, and the time we did that thing…